When I read “Spiders’s Bite”, the first book in this series. last September I thought the series showed promise because Gin Blanco, the Elemental Assassin of the title, was refreshingly amoral and because Lauren Fortgang’s narration brought the book alive.
“Web of Lies” has some good things going for it – if it hadn’t I would never have made it to the end of the book because it also has a lot of things wrong with it.
There is a basis for a really good series here. The characters continue to develop. We learn more about them through well-handled back-story and by seeing how they behave under physical and moral pressure. Estep makes sure that Gina Blanco is not one-dimensional, giving us just enough reasons to care about her to want her to win and to explain the loyalty others show her, while making her just broken enough to do the violent things that are asked of her.
The cast of characters continues from the previous novel and new ones are introduced that you know you will enjoy learning more about. The goody-two-shoes Detective male interest of the first novel gets what he deserves.
There is clearly a book-spanning story arc and it’s intriguing enough for me to want to see how it plays out.
The plot for the novel, a basic “Magnificent Seven” set up, is well handled and has enough sub-plots to keep me interested and it’s set in spectacular places that are well described.
The dialogue works well. The actions scenes and the violence are convincing and engaging without being pornographic and the magic has enough constraints and consistency to make it convincing.
So what could possibly go wrong?
Estep’s editor seems to have been asleep at the wheel. There are number of times when passages giving back story are repeated, sometimes word for word, a few chapters apart. It was like listening again and again to a “Previously, on Elemental Assassin” segment designed for readers who either haven’t been paying attention or suffer from short-term memory loss. I can tell you without any reference to the text that Gin was with Fletcher for seventeen years, that’s she’s been an assassin for seventeen years, that she has a rune on her hand: “a small circle with eight radiating lines, a spider rune, the symbol for patience.” because they are repeated so often they are almost a chorus.
It’s natural for authors to repeat themselves from one scene to another, including use the same words. It’s the editor’s job to find and eliminate these repetitions.
A good editor would also have prevented Estep from over-using phrases like “I looked at him with my grey eyes” After the third time I was wondering if Gin either had eyes of another colour that she could have used instead, or was able to use something other than her eyes to look at people.
A good editor would have corrected the grammar, at least to the point of getting endings and tenses right.
A good editor would have prevented Gin Blanco from going “Mmmmm” EVERY time she sees Detective Doright.
I was left wondering if this book had an editor at all.
My experience of the book was then worsened by the audiobook production standards.
I know Lauren Fortgang can be a good narrator. I enjoyed her reading “Shadow and Bone” and she made “Spider’s Bite” come alive but this time I felt that I was listening to a sight-reading in a rehearsal rather than the finished product: stresses where in the wrong places, she ran out of breath and there were inappropriate, pointless pauses. This all adds up to poor production in my view.
Then there’s the sex scene. It’s not really a sex scene. It’s a “Romance Writer’s of America”, guaranteed–not-to-offend scene with all the erotic impact of a cold shower. Lauren Fortgang’s decision to read this passage slowly, in what I assume was an effort to inject some passion into the dull prose, had me reaching for the “play at twice normal speed” button on my iPod.
I’m going to stick with the series to find out what happens. I just Jennifer Estep got an editor who can help her make her books as good as I think they could be and a producer who gives the narrator an opportunity to do more than phone in their performance.